Why Men Hate Going to Church

I mentioned in my previous blog about having just read the book Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow. I wanted to see if it would shed some light on why churches in general lack young men in my son's age range, 18-30. To my surprise, the author points out in small and big ways, how some of the modern practices we incorporate in church life simply don't appeal to men.

Customs such as hand-holding for prayer, the use of romantic-type modern lyrics, and even the kinds of tasks we ask of men are practices that I didn't think would matter. Honestly, I never thought about the preponderant use in church of "feminine themes, imagery and vocabulary" the author highlights in one of the chapters. One concern is how these issues may repel instead of attract unchurched men. I didn't think about that either. When I think about the 18-30 year-old men I know, many of the author's points about why this age group is missing from church make sense.

I think it's a good book for Christian parents to read and examine the implications for the next generation of men. For homeschooling moms, it's particularly useful to analyze even the teaching methods we use with our sons in light of what this author reveals.

GHEA Articles 2008

This year I'd like to use this blog for feedback from my articles in the Georgia Homeschool Educators Association's newsletter. I've gotten feedback through email, but I thought that posting here more frequently this year may be a more effective tool for dialogue. In the January/February 08 newsletter I share my observations and advice for getting Dads more involved in homeschooling. After finishing reading Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow, I'm more convinced that it will be a help to many moms.

Updates

You may have noticed that I have not had any updates in a while. I'm teaching full time now, so my life has taken quite a turn.
However, I'm still writing articles for GHEA (Georgia Home Education Association), so please ask questions and leave feedback for me if you read those articles. Thanks for stopping by.

Applying the Gospel to Disciple

These are the notes for tonight's message:

#3 Applying the Gospel to Discipline

A. Foundation of Discipleship
The foundation of discipleship is knowing who we are in Christ.
When we truly understand, and experience God’s unconditional love, it will drive out fear, and every other sin in our lives.

(Slide #6) Our worth is totally secure in Christ, so our children’s success or failure, cuteness or whining doesn’t affect our value in the least. We need to see our children the way our heavenly father sees us:
• Deeply loved
• Completely forgiven
• Fully pleasing
• Totally accepted
Then, when they disobey, our discipline will be like the Father’s discipline of us: in love, not anger.”
- The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee p. 303

We must teach our children:
1. Who they are in Christ.
2. What they have in Christ that will keep them from sin.
• His Word – “I have thought much about your word” Ps. 119:11
• His grace- 2 grace scripts, slide #1

3. They must know that they will fail at times, and that when they fail, God is there and we are there to help them examine their heart without constant fear of punishment or rejection from God or us.

Pastor Scott Quote: slide #2

B. Handling Disobedience
Young children need the rod to drive out foolishness. OUTER GOV→ INNER
Prov 22:15 folly is bound up in the heart of a child

Young children need to know the Word so that they can learn right from wrong--
so they can develop a tender heart towards God, and a working conscience.

Prov 3:11-12 …do not despise the Lord’s discipline & do not resent his rebuke
because the Lord disciplines those He loves…

Discipline: Is not punishment only. It includes training, instruction, and correction.
(slide #3)


I Thess 2:11 For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting, urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into His kingdom and glory

If we are going to apply the Gospel to handling disobedience beyond spanking:
1. Shed light of word on situation.
2. Teach and remind them of the power of grace.

If we focus only on changing their performance through:
Behavior modification
Emotionalism
Grounding
Plus Punishment

Can you see how this might produce a quick change in behavior, but not necessarily a change of heart?

WHY WE DIDN’T HAVE A CURFEW
WHY WE DIDN’T GROUND
EX: Sara -

C. Correction vs. Punishment
Goal of discipline - “is to produce growth, not just pain.” (SACH p.56)

** In correction we are not ruling out consequences, (P56)
The Bible is clear that we will reap what we sow.

If the room is dirty, no shopping at the mall?
It the dishes are dirty, no phone calls to friends?

Let’s look for what God’s desire is in each situation
1. Car out of gas – if you are faithful is small- ruler over much
2. Too much time on the phone – self control
3. Forgot to do chore/dishes – faithful over small things
4. Messy room – faithful over small things

***Grounding vs. clear, up front short restriction – you can’t go until room clean

Reminder to parents:
You are Above – I must instruct/correct
You are Beside- I too am lazy, disorganized, forgetful, undisciplined, selfish, etc.

Homeschooling 101 Seminar

Please post your questions here. Thanks.

Lessons from Samson & Delilah

Crosswalk.com has published one of my articles encouraging parents to mentor their young teens about romance. You can click here to read it.

I would appreciate sincere comments from young and old folks alike. Remember, you can leave anonymous comments.

Thanks,

Vivian

Book Recommendation

Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

This book is full of useful strategies to keep peace between siblings, but more than that, it has insights into how rivalry works to destroy those relationships. Every parent needs to be aware of what causes rivalry and how to deal with it. Not everything in the book is useful, and it is not written from a Christian worldview, but it is still worth reading.